Spreader

 I currently live in a world where knowledge has never been more available, and yet most of it sits by the curb waiting for Waste Management. 

I joined the teaching profession with the notion that I would be bringing all of my wisdom in chunks to a new generation, anxious to lap it up and ask for more. "Wow, Mister Caven, you mean there were dudes doing math way back before you were born, and they figured this stuff out?"

"Well, yes Steve. Math wasn't around when dinosaurs roamed the earth. And did you know that people weren't around then either?"

"What about the Flintstones?"

"The Flintstones? They were a calculated move by Hanna-Barbera Studios to follow a sit-com format, essentially following a template laid down by one of the most popular shows of the time, The Honeymooners, starring Jackie Gleason."

"Was Jackie Gleason a dinosaur?"

Sometimes a little knowledge is a dangerous thing, but I have made it my mission to continue to bring as much real-world relevance to reading, writing and 'rithmatic, which for some reason get labeled as the Three R's, even though only one of them starts with an R. We note this while children continue to find their own world worth discovering, one in which everything Mister Caven says is subject to verification by Google. Which turns out to be okay. I don't mind being fact-checked, though it can get a little dicey when that half century between myself and the fact-checker comes into play. 

Which opens the potential for me to learn. I have had to become familiar with all manner of social media, even the ones that have drifted out of favor of something better. I could say that I wasted time learning about Snapchat only to find out that nobody cool uses that anymore. But for a few moments there, I appeared relevant. Like the time I mentioned Fortnite to a group of fourth graders. "You play Fortnite Mister Caven?"

"No, but I am aware of its existence."

Which turns out to be a little like a fourth grader's connection to fractions.