The following is a series of thoughts that I hope we might all carry through into the next year. Feel free to disregard or take to heart any or all of them. At your own peril.
I believe that the biggest threat to our democracy is our own democracy. People are voting for these numbskulls. Knock it off, already.
Please stop putting "at" at the end of your questions about location. We can save valuable space and time without this unnecessary preposition.
The suggestion that "the one who smellt it dealt it" should have a statute of limitations. After seven minutes that fart is everyone's.
I suggest we start erecting statues to the heroes of the War on Christmas. Starting with the Grinch.
The NFL in its tireless attempt to make a vicious sport more precise and kind should do away with any sort of reference to "sudden death." A kinder gentler version of overtime is available in a working form just across the street at the NCAA.
I give up: Guns don't kill people. People kill people. And that's why people shouldn't have guns.
If Popeye's Chicken Sandwich is so good, why do they have to advertise it?
I recommend that we institute another global lockdown. Not for COVID necessarily, but we should all have to go back to our rooms until we fix that attitude of ours.
I would like to remind everyone that Patrick Swayze was right: "It's nothing personal."
I wonder why winter is the only season that gets to have its own greetings.
That song in your head was put there by someone. Blame them.
If we are going to have electric cars, can't we also have acoustic cars?
Those who believe in cancel culture probably don't believe in evolution. Things change. That bit about cro magnon men are so much smarter than neanderthals hasn't aged well.
In honor of all those nights I spent playing Trivial Pursuit, I will no longer ask for a "slice" of pizza, I will be asking for a wedge.
While 2021 was a pretty awful year, there is absolutely no guarantee that 2022 will bring renewed hope. Or personal jetpacks.
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