Ah, Youth!

 My wife wondered aloud if maybe "being a kid and playing all day" might be preferable to "being a grownup with a job." Sometimes the musings that fall from my wife's mouth are not fully formed, and become a cause for humor at her expense. She is the one who gave us the pithy observation that you should never make and assumption because that just makes an ass out of "you and umption." Which may be the reason that I was so quick to ridicule her question comparing carefree youth and the burden of adulthood. 

Seeing as how I am still thinking about that quaint little juxtaposition days later, it may have been a tad hasty to snicker. Certainly on the face of it the preference seems pretty obvious: work versus play. Oh for those carefree days of youth when climbing trees was recreational, and not a means to yard maintenance. Riding my bike was something I would do for hours with no particular destination. Now it's my conveyance to my job. And when I fell asleep at night, I would dream about the fun that I had or the fantasies of adventures yet to come. Now I dream of logistics and imagine ways to rearrange the furniture in my living room. 

When I was a kid, I thought for a moment that I knew love. I thought I knew pain. I suffered through both as if I were the first person to ever experience such things. I could not imagine that anyone had ever had the feelings that I was having. Well, as it turns out, there are a whole lot of people who have had similar emotions, many of whom were able to express them in ways that made it easier to bear. Most of these were adults, since they were the ones with the wherewithal to do that sort of thing. It wasn't until I became an adult that I realized that there was magic in the mundane. All the effort I had expended when I was young trying to be unique wasted in the face of the realization that having company for this ride. 

In childhood, everything is fresh and new, including the fears. I was paralyzed by the thought of being away from my family, away from home. If I had never grown up, I might still be clinging to the life that felt safe. Because ignorance is bliss. Once you start to stack up some years, knowledge begins to accrue and hopefully right behind that comes wisdom. And now that I am older, I am happy to have that. Or at least what passes for wisdom these days. I am wise enough to know that I really wouldn't want to be a kid again. I am happy to know that all that angst is behind me.

Except for the furniture moving. I still have to figure that out.