These Go Up To Eleven

 Bill Gates and his ex-wife have spent so much time saving the world that they almost forgot to put out a new version of Windows. 

That's the way I am guessing it went down. Back in the day, it seemed like you couldn't turn around without finding a call to update your operating system. Way back in the late eighties and early nineties, it seemed like the first version would be fine after a few tweaks that came along with 2.0. Windows 3.0 hung on for a few more years after that, but Windows 95 came about giving us the fear that we might suddenly be asked to make a change once a year. That turned out to be three, when Windows 98 showed up, and just a couple more before we had Windows 2000 dropped in our laps. That one only held sway for a year before the very futuristically named XP was rolled out. That was replaced by Vista in 2006 after a nice run, which was in turn remanded to the shelf by Windows 7. Then 8. Then 9. Then came 10. In case you thought that this trend would continue, you're in luck because in October we will be gifted with Windows 11. Just when you thought it was safe to turn on your computer.

Of course, you could be working on one of the Apple machines and have absolutely no idea about the progression of Lion to Ocelot to Yosemite to Pleasant Valley. Or whatever it is that the self-proclaimed geniuses at Mac feel like naming their operation systems. I imagine there is a genius in an office in Cupertino sole purpose at the company is to come up with random nouns to assign to their new products. Just like all you really need to do is slap an "i" in front of anything in order to raise the price by a power of ten. 

Why am I griping about this? I run a computer lab at a school. For kids. Each time one of these "revolutions" occurs, I have to set about scrambling for funds to get the room full of machines in front of which children will eventually sit up to date. This school, as you may imagine from reading many of the other entries which I have written about my job, does not have a parents group or readily available stream of financing the sole purpose of keeping us on the cutting edge of technology. Once upon a time, we were gifted with an extremely generous benefactor who showed up on our doorstep asking if there was anything he could do. "Would you like to have a computer lab with Internet and network printers?" I jumped at that opportunity. Replacing the room full of Apple IIC boxes and tractor feed printers only loosely connected by a hive of wires was a dream. It came true. 

And now, some twenty years later, I am once again tensing for the inevitable crush for funds to make it all work. Again. Better. Faster. Eleven. 

Sheesh.