Thursday, July 02, 2020

A Dark Place

I miss writing about celebrities and their ongoing travails. Problems with the paparazzi and so forth. Holding up the magnifying glass to those already over-sized personalities. All paths seem to wind back on coronavirus or social justice. The somewhat regular feature here in Entropical Pardise, the celebrity obituary, has faded away because of the sheer amount of death surrounding us on a daily basis. Half a million and counting.
And the list of victims of police brutality doesn't seem to be getting any shorter either. New day, new outrage. New day, new sorrow.
I used to make greeting cards. Not professionally, but for my family and friends. Occasions that needed some sort of outward recognition got a hand-drawn and lettered piece of art from yours truly. These days, I resort to whatever Trader Joe's has in stock, or if I get involved at all I stick to clip art or email. This was a time when I cared about each and ever interaction enough that I would sit down with a pen and paper and make sense of my feelings for whomever would be on the receiving end of my sentiments.
I don't think I could do that now. Like I gave up decorating cakes. That one was a little more short-lived, but there were a great many pieces of edible art suitable for celebration that came to life under my hands.
My creative process has become more focused, especially in the past few months. I know that it is desperation for something to shine. The stories of hope and inspiration that make it out of the darkness these days come as a welcome relief, but they are flashes. I know that eliminating new movies opening in theaters has put a cap on my enthusiasms. Like the vicarious thrills of watching the local sports franchise go through their paces, I have spent far too long looking for inspiration from outside sources.
Inspiration, it seems to me, ought to come from inside. The kid who made those cakes and cards had a ton of it. Maybe you were lucky enough to get one of them. I don't want them back so much as I want the brain space to imagine such things. I miss those things that used to serve as distractions from all the horrible things.
The word could use them too.
This would explain all those cat videos.

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