Monday, February 17, 2020

Pop Quiz

Can you name all forty-five presidents? Of the United States? On Presidents' Day, I believe it is worth trying to account for all of them, hence the apostrophe coming after the plural. What used to be a special day commemorating Washington's Birthday, and another full day in honor of Lincoln's Birthday ten days before that has become an amalgam engineered to keep us all at work just a little more than we aren't at work during the month of February. The union to which I belong even negotiated to have an additional day added as a three day weekend in May to make up for this obvious injustice.
So I've given you a moment's diversion to consider the question, and how you might want to attack it. Maybe your strategy is to start at the beginning: Washington, Adams, Jefferson. Those three are free, leaving you with just forty-two more to recall. Maybe keeping it fresh is better, since those who have served during our lifetime may be easier to envision: Trump, Obama, Bush (W). And so on. Another tack might be to list all the war presidents. How about the ones who were shot? Let's see, you probably got Lincoln. And Kennedy. How about James Garfield? Ronald Reagan was shot, but he survived. Gerald Ford was shot at, but he ducked. Or fell.
I suppose what I'm getting at here is that we have been a nation long enough to have favorites. Everyone loves a star. And oddly, in the case of Kennedy and Lincoln especially, we love a martyr. Sorry about that, Mister Garfield. I don't know how to explain your lack of ascension. Maybe because he lingered on his deathbed for seventy-nine days after being shot, giving the nation a chance to mourn, but also to get on with business as usual.
So, there's ten or so. That leaves us with another thirty-five to mull, and since there have been two Bushes, two Roosevelts, and two Adams, it should start getting easier. Leading me to believe that there should be some sort of qualifying quiz for those unbelievable deals at Toyota's Presidents' Day Sale-A-Thon. Those who believe that Alexander Hamilton or Benjamin Franklin ever served as President of the United States are immediately disqualified. And if you had them on your list, shame on you.
And with any luck at all, we'll have a new name to add to the list by November.

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