Wednesday, December 26, 2018

Chutes And Ladders

The National Christmas Tree was turned off after a demonstrator tried to climb it, damaging the decorations. Because of the government shutdown, it was feared that the symbol of our victory in the War For Christmas would remain dark even as the Day approached. Luckily, kindhearted donors who created a grant that will keep the lights on all the way until January 1st. Most of the National Park Service will remain closed. That means the forests from whence the the brothers and sisters and aunts and uncles and cousins of the National Christmas Tree will be lonely without anyone visiting them as the government continues to be shut down.
The  Grand Canyon will remain open. Kind of hard to close a chasm that is more than two hundred miles long and eighteen miles wide. Campgrounds and restrooms around the canyon will remain closed.
Four hundred twenty thousand federal employees will be going to work without paychecks. This includes forty-one thousand law enforcement and corrections officers. And eighty-eight percent the employees of the Department of Homeland Security, which is pretty interesting considering that's the department that is charged with keeping our borders secure. And since there is no great big wall to keep the bad guys who have no respect for our borders without a wall, we can only expect that they will come across in hordes with the intent of doing damage to all of our sacred institutions. Like the Grand Canyon. And the National Christmas Tree. If they were to set that tree on fire, five thousand forest firefighters won't be paid either. Could be trouble.
If things got really bad, there could be even more difficulty getting the giant space arks off the ground since ninety-six percent of NASA's employees have been furloughed. Along with fifty-two thousand Internal Revenue Service workers, so there won't be any taxes collected to pay for the government services that won't be happening during the shutdown.
Happily, another civic minded individual started a Go Fund Me account to help pay for the border wall that caused all this mess in the first place. Or if you're looking for a way to be less civic-minded, you could send a few bucks to the page that is raising money for ladders to get over that wall. Maybe after January 1st the National Christmas Tree could  be milled into lumber to build the wall. Or ladders.

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