Saturday, January 13, 2018

Collection Plate

In the past few years I have become somewhat callous in my ability to click the delete button when I see emails from the Democratic National Committee. I gave money, once upon a time, and put my email address down as part of the process, only to discover that mark will never be erased from the tablets of history. Ever. This is not to say that I have grown tired of the Democratic Party, necessarily. I still contribute to races and at moments when I feel the cause is immediate and I can make a difference with the cash I can spare. I cannot respond on a weekly, monthly or at times daily basis. Like so many people and places vying for my attention and donation, I need to prioritize.
That is why the call from Paula White came as such a daring assault. Ms. White is a gospel preacher who is calling on followers to send her donations of up to one month’s salary. Those who don’t pay up could face “consequences” from God as he demands the money as a “first fruits” offering. From her website: "The principle of FIRSTFRUITS is all about honoring God by putting Him first IN EVERYTHING. The reason is God lays claim to all firsts. So when you keep for yourself something that belongs to God you are desecrating what is to be consecrated to God." In other words, giving your money away unlocks the spiritual pathway, and choosing not to do so is disrespectful to the Creator. Since most of us don't have God's mailing address, Paula is more than happy to accept your gift to encourage the Lord's blessing. Not that you're going to come away empty handed. Besides the massive influx of light and joy, you're pretty much guaranteed to see a boost in your financial future, which is nice since that will make it easier to toss some more fruit in the direction of this conduit to salvation sooner rather than later. And, she's even willing to toss in a copy of her book, First Things First, in which she details the ways you can get your life under control by sending a big check to God or someone who knows Him personally to get you into alignment with the way things ought to be. They ought to be prosperous. For you. And for Paula. 
And if Pastor Paula looks or sounds familiar, it could be that you caught her act at our current "President's" inauguration. No word on exactly what he tends to sow this year. 
Now I guess I need to send another five dollars to the DNC just to get myself clean again. 

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