Tuesday, November 07, 2017

Twenty Years And Eleven Minutes

Martha O'Donovan has been accused of attempting to overthrow the government of Zimbabwe. How did she do it, or attempt to do it, anyway? Via Twitter. She is accused of calling ninety-three-year-old President Robert Mugabe a "sick man" in a Twitter post that included a photo illustration of the president with a catheter. For this she may potentially spend twenty years in prison. For a tweet.
Such is the state of cybersecurity in the world today. And so we find ourselves wondering how long before our "President" gets wind of this. 
For now, we assume that the Tangerine Terror wouldn't want to limit the free-flowing exchange of ideas represented by his own presence on social media. But maybe a disgruntled Twitter employee might, in a fit of pique, pull the plug on the "President's" account. For eleven minutes last week, that is precisely what happened. What was initially called accidental, but soon it became apparent that a "rogue employee" on their last day decided to give the planet a breather for less than a quarter of an hour. 
And what happened? Nothing, but a lot of people worried about it before, during, and after. What if he had deleted his own account in anticipation of pending indictment or litigation? How about Russians once again asserting their power over our infrastructure? Maybe that former Twitter employee was planning to hijack the "President's" account  and post a lot of ridiculous and cruel messages that could cause some kind of international incident?
Well, maybe that last one doesn't seem like much of a stretch, since the man who gave the world covfefe is more than capable of making his own ugly mess online. Meanwhile, my own campaign to be blocked by Sir Cheeto has taken another hit. Pithy responses to our chief executives ramblings on Twitter don't seem to matter much in a world that seems to be burdened by tiny-brained ninnies with access to a keyboard or smartphone. 
And how did Orange Julius respond to his ever-so-brief absence from the Twitterverse? “My Twitter account was taken down for 11 minutes by a rogue employee. I guess the word must finally be getting out-and having an impact.” Yes, the word is out. Our "President" is addicted to Twitter, a social media service used primarily to argue the merits of Michael Keaton's portrayal as Batman and oversharing about this and that. Our "President" is a sick man. 
Now I await that knock on the door. 

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