Tuesday, June 28, 2016

Do Not Reply

It's a lecture that most people get at some point. Somewhere along the line, it takes a knowing, caring soul to point out to those uninitiated to the magic behind "reply all." It's that button right next to "reply" when you are sending an email. There are times when this is a very convenient tool. When you are having a cyber discussion with a group of friends and relatives about what sort of gift to give the new nephew, and you want everyone to pitch in with their best ideas, "reply all" is a great way to get everyone's opinion. Even though Cousin Carol always says that a sailor suit makes a great gift. For anyone. Anytime. Cousin Carol needs to have everyone reply to her and remind her that trains are always appropriate. This is a case when you definitely want to bang on that "reply all" button.
But if you want to have a more intimate discussion about how to get Cousin Carol help with that sailor suit problem, you might want to lay off the "reply all." Sure, she might benefit from your thoughts about ritual humiliation, or plans to show up at the next family gathering wearing matching sailor suits, but that would spoil the evil. By contrast, you might want to keep this sliver of information from Cousin Carol, just in case she is actually working on a plan for world domination that involves sailor suits.
It could happen. Better keep an eye on Cousin Carol and quit deleting those random emails she keeps sending you with links to cat videos.
But you would guess that somebody's lawyer, a high-powered type with access to other people's non-sailor-suit-related-secrets. Johnny Manziel's lawyer needs to lock down his "reply all" habits to avoid spreading his client's dirty laundry all down the street and across Al Gore's Internet. He accidentally texted his concerns about his dangerous party-boy to the Associated Press. Oops. Drinking, drugging, battery, you name the rule or statute, and Johnny's probably broken it. And now his lawyer is letting the whole world know. Not in the whole "I can't stand by and watch this happen" way that might make this a happier story, but more in the "Wait, did I say that? I don't think you can draw that conclusion based on the facts" kind of way. Johnny Football seems to be headed toward a wall, and accelerating. The good news? So far there has been no mention of sailor suits.

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