iDon'tcare

Forward, into the past. This was the title of the greatest hits from Firesign Theatre. It describes the double album precisely, as it was a "new release" but because all of those relics were packaged along with two tracks that had only been available a singles, it was considered "new." It's nothing new. These kind of compilations really attract the completionist. I am one of those who used to feel the draw of those two or three "bonus cuts" that were somehow not deemed good enough to make it to any album previously, but suddenly in a fit of contractual obligation, they become available for a limited time on this batch of otherwise warmed-over chart smashes. These are the type of recordings that iTunes tends to make available "album only," meaning if you want those obscure bits then you have to buy the stuff you bought before they were repackaged in one great big lump.
This is kind of how I feel about the new Apple Watch. This is not to be confused with the Google Watch, which preceded it's Mac chronometer by a few months. Now you can have all that data and all those apps in a compact size that can be strapped to your wrist. This whole trend confounds me on a number of levels. First of all, didn't Apple just decide to make their iPhones bigger so they would become more tablet-like? Aren't these the same geniuses, and I know they are because this is how the refer to themselves, who made their Nanos bigger too? After being sold on the idea that bigger must be better, at least when it comes to peering at YouTube videos and driving directions, they have turned around and made something for us to squint at. I had just come to the point in my life where I was considering letting my watch go, along with the pale stripe on my wrist that was left underneath after months of standing outside, watching the minutes tick by until recess is over. If I wanted to know what time it was, I could just look at my phone.
Well, now I guess I can wear my phone. And my Internet browser. And my music machine. And whatever else they can think of to cram into that little object dangling from my arm. The good new for me is that I still haven't checked out of the wristwatch camp. I'm not ready to be Dick Tracy. And if I added up the cost of all the watches I have owned in my life up until now, I just might come close to the low end model of the newest gadget on the block, I think I'll save up for the eventual iMplant - the one where Apple will just jack directly into your cerebral cortex.