Monday, February 24, 2014

Scrub A Dub

I haven't used shampoo for a good long time. I haven't needed to. Shampoo is for washing hair. This isn't a lack of washing, it's a lack of hair.
It's not the hair that I miss so much. I miss all that hair care discussion. I miss the ablutions. There was a time that I was very interested in hair care products and their use. Back in the seventies, I used a separate shampoo and then a conditioner. I listened when the powers that be suggested that blow drying could be bad for your follicles. I was haunted by the image of clumps of hair flying from my scalp as I aimed those ninety thousand watts of drying power at my head. It was not an inspiring thought and it was the beginning of the end of my love affair with hair.
By the time I was in college, I had moved on to using Silkience: shampoo and conditioner in one bottle. I was still in the game, but the idea of hauling two or three bottles down the hall to my freshman dorm shower was untenable. I was much more interested in getting hosed off and on my way to the SAGA food service line than I was in getting the right bounce in my wave. This was the era of the "could-have-been-a-fro." The hair I had was curly enough that if I kept it clean and dry, it fluffed up nicely enough for those around me to be impressed by the cloud of hair I could sustain.
That didn't last long. By my late twenties, I was left with the left and right tufts that are often found on clowns or mad scientists. The shampoo I did use went to work on the hair I had left, and after another decade of fighting the good fight, I decided to cut it all off. Showers are a brisk affair, and I am pleased and happy to say that I don't have to worry about clogging the drain with any misbegotten strands that took their leave during the five minutes I was busy scrubbing the rest of me. That distinction belongs to my wife and son. Just like that shampoo bottle.

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