Tuesday, March 05, 2013

Sack Religious

I should start out by saying this: If there is an "Organized Religion," it's got to be Catholicism. I've been to a few masses and a few more weddings in a Catholic church, and have to say that at the very least, I got an aerobic workout. All that standing, sitting, kneeling. Call and response. Amen. If there's a sin, there's a system. Confession? What a great idea, with all those secret booths and sliding doors. And don't get me started on the uniforms.
But since you asked, I have to say that the Pope Costume is stunning, from the tip of his mitre to the toes of those red shoes. This getup says both "Large" and "In Charge." It's to die for, right? Well, that may be why your standard operating pope sticks with his cassock until he (or she) can no longer hold his (or her) head up any longer. Which is why it comes as such shock that Pope Benedict ("Eggs" to his friends) would give up on the job before rigor mortis set in. We could speculate endlessly about the reasons for this historic papal resignation, but I think we should focus on the most significant element in this scenario: How does this affect me?
Please understand, I have no designs whatsoever on the job myself, in spite of the wardrobe. Although I confess that the whole infallibility thing intrigues me. I'm much more interested in the time during which we have no Pope, this window during which the teacher is metaphorically out of the room. What, precisely, can we get away with? I'm pretty sure that the big sins would still be off the table: murder, stealing, false witness and the like. But who is going to notice if I have a lustful thought or two? Skimming from the till during the next family game of Monopoly? Writing this blog?
I know that soon there will be a puff of white smoke and we'll be back to normal, but for now can't we take this moment to sow a few mildly wild oats? And if it's not too much to ask, maybe we can call the next guy Pope Reggie?

1 comment:

Dan said...


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