Give Me A Kid With Hair - Or Not

Ah, science. Research has determined that every hair follicle on your head produces a hair every two to six years and then lies dormant for a few weeks or months. For some, these follicles simply stop waking up over time. Then, a breakdown in communication stops new skin cells from becoming follicles. They become regular skin cells instead. These are found on top of the heads of bald people. Scientists believe that Vitamin D holds the key to turning those skin cells around and getting them back on the hair-growing track again.
What if you don't want to grow hair? I'm proud to show my scalp to the rest of the world. I don't feel that my virility or vanity has been affected in any particular way because my forehead went the way of my father's: all the way back to his neck. It was my father who showed me the way to cope with a less-than-full head of hair. Growing hair is not exactly the survival concern it was back when we lived outside in the elements. Sure, I want to protect the top of my head when the weather outside is frightful. However, the invention of hats was a significant one, and doesn't require a doctor's prescription.
My showers are just a couple of minutes long. Once I towel off the water that has beaded on the top of my head, I'm good to go. I contrast this mightily with the efforts of roommate in college, who had a regimen that could take a full hour to complete. Yul Brynner. Telly Savalas. Michael Jordan. Did hair loss somehow impede their progress through life? Not to worry, since the exact formula hasn't been generated, so I won't feel the need to start buying up tubs full of Vitamin D. It is not, as the King of Siam might say, "scientific."