Thursday, February 23, 2012

Clothes Make The Man

Mitt "En" Romney just can't seem to put a stake through the heart of the Republican Presidential Nomination. It could be because he's a Mormon. It could be because he's rich, as in "filthy." It could be because he teeters on the verge of being a social conservative without ever quite committing to that sensibility. It could be a combination of all of these, but whatever the case, we find ourselves less than nine months away from an election without a clear choice for a side on which to be.
Or not. A number of clever pundit-types have been suggesting that people, many of them voters, are seeking out Rick "Don't Ask" Santorum because "he's a candidate like them." Not a Mormon. A social conservative. And even if he is rich, it's not the filthy version. Rick wears a sweater vest. What could speak more loudly about a man's convictions than his choice of outer garments? Sure, he's committed to keeping his core warm, but he's not about to get his arms all tangled up in those pesky sleeves that keep other candidates' gestures from fully expressing their deepest meaning. When Mitt wears jeans, he looks uncomfortable without a blazer to top it off. We're a shirtsleeves nation, and we're fiercely proud of it. Rick's dad was a coal miner, who probably wore a sweater vest way down there in the dark. Mitt's dad wasn't a coal miner, but he was born in Mexico. Maybe he wore a serape. This may be the sleeveless angle for which the Romney campaign has been searching.
Until Ron Paul shows up in a dashiki, that is.

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