Sunday, March 08, 2009

Apprehension

My wife watched for a few minutes, then turned to me and asked the obvious question: "Why is he doing that?" I knew exactly what she was talking about. We were watching "Live And Let Die," and the villain Kananga was chatting up James Bond, with the expressed intent of killing him shortly after. Kanaga was just another in a series of vociferous scoundrels James has encountered in his career. They always feel compelled to brag about their plans for world domination before dispatching that pesky 007.
This syndrome is not exclusive to the Bond series. Villains always seem more interested in showing off just how clever they are than actually committing the crime. This was best described in Pixar's "The Incredibles," when old friends Bob and Lucius (aka Mister Incredible and Frozone) are reminiscing one night:
Lucius: So now I'm in deep trouble. I mean, one more jolt of this death ray and I'm an epitaph. Somehow I manage to find cover and what does Baron von Ruthless do?
Bob: [laughing] He starts monologuing.
Lucius: He starts monologuing! He starts like, this prepared speech about how *feeble* I am compared to him, how *inevitable* my defeat is, how *the world* *will soon* *be his*, yadda yadda yadda.
Bob: Yammering.
Lucius: Yammering! I mean, the guy has me on a platter and he won't shut up!
It is precisely at this point that Frozone or Batman or James Bond or Austin Powers spot their opening. This hubris always leads to the undoing of the bad guys. And do you suppose that it only happens in the movies and comic books?
Yesterday morning, police and FBI agents raided thirty homes in a gang bust meant to break up a violent group who call themselves the Taliban gang. One of the ways they were able to locate and track members of the gang was through their regular posting of videos on YouTube. On their Facebook pages they were probably updating their status regularly, including important details for their plans for world domination.
It's not that different from the bozos who videotape themselves driving around smashing mailboxes. Eventually that tape makes its way to the very authority they hope to flaunt. James Bond doesn't need a lot of fancy gadgets these days, he could just hang around an Internet cafe and wait for Goldfinger to upload his latest video.

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