Sunday, August 10, 2008

Bizarre Love Triangles

"Out there with these natives it must be a temptation to be god." - General Corman in to Captain Willard in "Apocalypse Now"
So there he was, out there in the wilds of the campaign trail, and John Edwards fell prey to that temptation. The native in question, Rielle Hunter, was impressed enough to comingle with the once and future candidate to the tune of an extra-marital affair back in 2006. The Democratic Knight in Shining Armor turns out to have a morality challenge.
Certainly, the suggestion or spin that could be made is that the former Senator from North Carolina is merely holding up a grand Democratic tradition of "lusty, zesty men, seething with vital hormonal secretions." There was Bill Clinton most recently, and John F. Kennedy before him. And let's not forget the presidential infidelities of Franklin Delano Roosevelt. Of course, with FDR and Elanor, can you really blame a guy for cheating on his cousin?
What is it about Democrats that inspire such salaciousness? Jimmy Carter, noted Baptist and former President of the United states said, "I tell you that anyone who looks on a woman with lust has in his heart already committed adultery. I've looked on a lot of women with lust. I've committed adultery in my heart many times." By that measure, I'm guessing even Harry Truman was guilty of that sin.
What about those Republicans? The very idea of Richard Nixon coupling with another human being is creepy on the order of the idea that your parents once had to - well - you know. And Ronald Reagan divorced his first wife to be with that saucy little vixen, Nancy. Then there's John and Cindy McCain. John is also on his second marriage, after a string of extra-marital affairs, for which he has dutifully accepted the blame. But here's where this story comes full circle: Serving as groomsman at John and Cindy's wedding, none other than Playboy Senator from Colorado, Gary Hart.
And so, as the sun sets on John Edward's public life, we remember that we are all human, after all and subject to the frailties of that particular condition. Better still to remember the words I am certain that Lillian Carter must have passed on to her son so many years ago: "It doesn't matter where you get your appetite, as long as you eat at home."

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