Friday, September 07, 2007

Sound The Alarm

President Pinhead said Osama bin Laden's mention of the Iraq war in his video message is a reminder of al-Qaida's long-term objectives in Iraq and of the "dangerous world in which we live." The following is an extensive, but by no means complete, list of other reminders of the dangerous world in which we live:
Drinking cough syrup and operating heavy machinery.
Running with scissors.
NC-17 rated movies.
Loose lug nuts.
Shipping toxic waste across state lines.
Running with toxic waste across state lines.
Human growth hormone.
Corked bats.
Aluminum bats.
Vampire bats.
Smoking in bed.
Genetically engineered food.
Eating genetically engineered food in bed.
Sofa beds.
Inappropriate content in on-line blogs.
The alcohol content of hand sanitizer.
The alcohol content of on-line blogs.
Binge and Purge episodes.
Operating without the blade guard firmly in place.
Driving with a load not properly strapped down.
Leaving the lid up.
Leaving the lid down.
Falling rock.
Severe weather.
Ultraviolet rays.
Rip tide.
Undercooked meat.
Overcooked meat.
Meat.
Dangerous Minds.
Dangerous Liaisons.
Dangerous Toys.
And the list goes on. The only thing we have to fear is what we have neglected to put on this list. The nation's threat level remains the same, elevated for the nation and high for the aviation sector. Celebrate the anniversary today by living in fear.

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