The World According To Pat

The Reverend Pat "God's Little Elf" Robertson said Ariel Sharon's massive stroke was God's way of punishing him for surrendering parts of the Gaza Strip to the Palestinians. This guy just keeps setting them up and knocking them down, doesn't he? The words from Pat were these: "(Sharon) was dividing God's land and I would say woe unto any prime minister of Israel who takes a similar course. ... God says, `This land belongs to me. You'd better leave it alone.'" As for the recent history of the Middle East, he said that it was God's insistence that Israel not be divided, Robertson referred to the 1995 assassination of Prime Minister Yitzhak Rabin, who had sought to achieve peace by giving land to the Palestinians. "It was a terrible thing that happened, but nevertheless he was dead," Robertson said.
In what will no doubt become a related story, the electrocution deaths of four Boy Scout leaders at the National Scout Jamboree last summer were found to be accidental, an Army spokesman said Friday. How long do you suppose it will take Pat to connect the recent comments made by George W. Bush about scouting ("Scouts have set a high standard of service and duty to God and country." He observed that "through the generations, Scouts have made America a stronger and better country.") to the wrath of God brought down on last summer's Jamboree? You can be sure that those Scouts must have been doing something to displease God, or they wouldn't have been smote - or is that smoten?
And before he starts in on the heathen coal miners of West Virginia, maybe we should all take a breath and be thankful that if there is a God (like the Flying Spaghetti Monster), then he/she/they/it must be merciful. Otherwise, why would God let a hate-filled little pinhead like Pat Robertson steer clear of any number of natural disasters?